Aries: Right now is a good time for planning. Get the world set in motion and use the momentum down the line to crush any who would oppose you with your enormous ball of plans.
Taurus: You struggle with second guessing yourself. Keep moving! Indecision is death! That helicopter isn’t going to hijack itself!
Gemini: People are depending on you to uphold your promises. The last thing you want to be known as is a trickster. Or is it? Thats exactly the sort of thing a trickster would do!
Leo: The stars say that this is the time to downplay your abilities but not your actions. Allow the world to underestimate you so you can uppercut it in the jaw for snickering during your presentation last week.
Virgo: A positive attitude will take you in a positive direction, at least until your lack of situational awareness leads you straight off a cliff into a pit of spikes. Keep your eyes open virgo.
Libra: When others cant decide, you will be there to make the tough choices with your brave disregard for things like “Rational Thought” and “Basic Self-preservation”.
Scorpio: What the ignorant call paranoia or hyper-vigilance, you call an impenetrable defense against the group of assassins that are definitely maybe following you.
Ophiuchus: Use your quick thinking and clever nature to escape when the waiter mistakes your pleasantries for genuine interest in the sort of corn they use in the tortillas.
Sagittarius: When you feel anxious energy building up inside you, look on the bright side! This is an opportunity to practice focusing it into a devastating Anxiety Beam attack.
Capricorn: Having trouble reaching your goal Capricorn? Not sure whats wrong? Consider that there just might be an obstacle in the way between you and your desires.
Aquarius: When you’re in the midst of some emotional drama is can be difficult not to lose sight of the larger goal. Stick to professionalism and confidence in your abilities. You have a bank to rob.
Pisces: Today you might fall into a bottomless pit. This is not a metaphor.
if you’re confused about the impeachment stuff, here you go! The house has voted to impeach him. The senate still needs to.
As of 12/18/19 at 8:43 pm, the House has voted to impeach. The senate trial has not begun yet. The senate is held by majority republican, so keep that in mind.
hearing the john mulaney “do my friends hate me or do i just need to go to sleep” bit is the best thing to have happened for my mental health because every time i’m afraid my friends hate me it’s around the time i should be going the fuck to sleep
I read somewhere “if you feel like everyone hates you you need to sleep and if you feel like you hate everyone else you need to eat” and it was honestly world-shattering and I wish I’d heard it years ago!
